Thunderbolt Patterson: Viva Las Vegas Shakedown!

Newark Airport, 8/13/2010, 8:00 am EST:
Well, the air train at EWR works like a champ, and I would recommend it to anyone who has to fly. Of course, flying sucks these days, so WALK. Seriously. Lovely Bloody Mary at “Dick Clark’s American Bandstand Bar and Grill,” gate 37. Nice footage of the O’Jays.

Dallas Airport, 8/13/2010, noon, CST:
No Shiner Bock? Wait, I always make connections through Dallas FOR the Shiner Bock … and no, I don’t want a Bud Light. I NEVER want a Bud Light. Is this because I’m in the American Airlines terminal? I definitely had a Shiner Bock at the very same airport on the way to SXSW in February. OK, Miller Lite will be fine.

American Airlines: Suck, but not any worse than the other flying buses. I prefer train travel, but Vegas might have been a bit of a haul.

Las Vegas Airport, 8/13/2010, 2:00 pm PCT:
Nothing says “welcome” like a bank of slot machines right inside your arrival gate. Even better, a scant 10 minute drive to my hotel, the lovely…

Hard Rock Hotel and Casino, 8/13/2010, 2;30 pm PCT:
I love this place, because I’m a total rock geek and dig all the shit displayed,and my room rules. BUT … what happened? Last time I was here it seemed more … “rock”? This is some “Jersey Shore” bullshit … and yes, I did go to “Rehab” at the pool, and that REALLY was wacky. I will address shortly.

Las Vegas Country Saloon, 8/13/ 2010, 9:00 pm PCT:
At this point, let’s thank Ralph (promoter) and the Superbees (band) for making things happen. The boys did a wonderful job on “Minnesota Strip,” and I broke a tambourine on my thigh during the song, WITHOUT MEANING TO. Thunderbolt, indeed. Sorry. Met Muck and the Mires, they are lovely people and sounded great.

Hard Rock Hotel pool, 8/14/2010, 1:00 pm PCT:
For those of you who are not regular viewers of the “E!” channel, the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino Las Vegas hosts a weekend pool party called “Rehab.” BEAUTIFUL pool area, filled with youngsters … God bless ’em. I wrote a whole bunch of other shit about this episode, but we’ll just leave it at … $22 frozen beverage. And … oh, better not.

Beauty Bar, 8/14/2010 8:00 pm PCT:
At this point let me give a shout out to my bro Paul from down under … just being Australian makes you the coolest guy in the room, much more if you’re Paul. “No drama, dirt farma”! Saw my bro’s the Dragons, who were excellent as usual.

Hard Rock Hotel and Casino, 8/15/2010, noon PCT:
Let’s revisit “Rehab” … holy shit. $100 cover, bungalows starting at $2000 (to $7000), and 200 people in line to get in ALL DAY. I’m not sure I want to spend that kind of money to go to the pool. Having said that … the parade of strippers in 6 inch heels waltzing through the casino was not a problem.

Las Vegas Country Saloon, 8/15/2010, 8:00 pm PCT:
Loved John Carpenter’s set.

Vegas Airport, 8/16/2010, 9:00 am PCT:
A few pulls on the slot machine, and off we go…

Thanks to Ralph and the Superbees.

— Thunderbolt Patterson, DFFD